through the motions

i've danced next to smoke machines
with one eye open,
focusing on dolls with porcelain skin
and wishing they had flesh.

i've shared dreams with strangers
after nightmares tossed and turned
around my tongue
then woke up with nothing to talk about.

i've lost moments in laughter
with icicles standing idly by,
waiting for me to stumble home
dripping from a cold sweat.

i've walked away from life
without a map
and came upon familiar crossroads
while trying to move forward.